


Last Light

by diamonddust131



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mystery, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 18:37:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10770066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diamonddust131/pseuds/diamonddust131
Summary: Kira was gone. L had won. That didn't mean there weren't those that had forgotten Kira's will. The world was still corrupt. I would finish what he started. I would kill L and create a new world in Kira's place. The Death Note had chosen me. I would not fail. One Shot. OC character. Trigger Warning: A few mentions of rape, so if that isn't your thing or gets you upset, steer clear.





	Last Light

_I had to finish what he started._

My fingers hurt. I could barely feel my raw and reddened right hand. My wrist no longer bent properly.

It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered other than me finishing Kira’s noble cause. I don’t care how cliché this is going to sound because in a few months, none of you out there will be able to say I did otherwise, and a lot of you won’t even be breathing: I’m going to cleanse this world of evil. So, I kept scribbling down the names of notorious criminals down in my Death Note, the very same tool the great Kira used so many years ago. My savior was gone, but he lived on in me.

I was his successor, and I would not fail him.

 _Scratch, scratch, scratch._ With another flick of my wrist, another group of vile rapists, pedophiles and murders were going to be killed by heart attacks in about forty seconds. I checked my watch and felt a rush of exhilaration as the red seconds hand ticked closer and closer to the allotted time. I hoped they writhed in agony as they die. I prayed they screamed until their last breath.

They deserved nothing less.

 _Scratch, scratch, scratch._ My breath grew ragged as I filled another sheet of notebook paper. Every line is littered with names. I leave not even the space of the margin untouched. They have to die. All of them have to die as soon as possible. Allowing them to remain breathing is the gravest injustice of all. Kira would never stand for it.

 _I_ would never stand for it.

“Elizabeth? Didn’t you hear me? I said it’s time for dinner.”

I gasped. My heart thumped so hard in my chest, I was under the impression I was going into cardiac arrest just like all the scum I’ve disposed of thus far. My quivering eyes shot up. Sunlight no longer shone through my bedroom window, and I came to the startling conclusion it was already evening. The moment I got home from school, I busied myself in the Death Note. These days, I could no longer keep any reasonable grasp of time. Only the stinging pain in my right arm and the satisfaction I extracted from punishing the wicked registered.

It was sweet, sweet like honey. I had met out more justice as soon as possible.

Snubbing the voice of my mother downstairs, I held up the Death Note to at last take in the scope of all my hard word over the last few days alone. There had to have been well over a hundred names jotted down as I flipped through the many pages. It was incredible, truly astounding. My handwriting got sloppier the longer I went on, but it mattered not. My face contorted into a smirk that most would call ‘inhuman.’ I didn’t let that bother me either.

I had done it. I had done it at last. With this, the world at large would realize Kira was back in full force. It was a different person behind the mask, but the message would be the same as it was back then.

_Evil will not be tolerated in this world. There will be no redemption for the foul and corrupt. Either change your ways or die. It’s that simple._

“Liz? Is everything alright?”

My bedroom door creaked open. With haste, I hid the red Note inside my desk. In came my mother, about as worthless a person walking the Earth could be. She gave me a look of concern. I scowled back at her.

“Get out,” I said at once, shaking with fury. How dare she interrupt my work, _Kira’s_ work. As my heart seemed to pound in my skull, my fingertips danced on my pen. I could write her name down in a nanosecond. She would be gone at long last, unable to insult me with her mere presence anymore.

But I faltered.

No matter how much I reviled this individual, she was still my mother. I thought I hadn’t a shred of conscience remaining, but I just couldn’t do it, not with with her gazing at me like a wounded animal.

“I-I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. Dinner is ready. You’re hungry, aren’t you?”

I was. I hadn’t eaten anything in days. My eyes were gaunt, my expression sullen, and I hadn’t realized how much weight I had lost until now. My stomach growled angrily, upset with me for neglecting it for so long.

“Liz, please eat something.”

I could hear the pleading in my mother’s words, the fear. I would pass out or worse if I kept on going like this. Though I longingly glanced back at the Death Note, craving with every fiber of my being to continue to task I was now devoting my life to, I gave into weakness.

 _No_ , I told myself. It wasn’t weakness. ‘Stupidity’ was a better term. If I died doing something as foolish as starving myself, there wouldn’t be anyone left to combat evil. I had to take care of myself for the sake of the world.

More importantly, I had to do it for Kira. I swallowed my pride.

Relief washed over my mother’s face when I nodded. I followed her down the staircase and into the kitchen. Her reaction hardly phased me. How could it? I no longer felt much for this woman, this terrible human being that allowed me to experience so much misfortune. No matter what she said or did nowadays in order to win me over, I would never allow her into my heart again.

The only thing she was useful for was a free base of operations for my revolution. I would dispose of her once I took my throne as ruler of the free world.

I took a seat at the round kitchen table. My stomach giddily lurched at the palette of food before me: chicken, mashed potatoes, sweet peas and even peach cobbler. My mother had gone all out it. She also knew peach cobbler was my favorite, but even that wouldn’t be enough to get me to look into those cold, dead eyes of hers. How they were so like my own and yet starkly different.

Wordlessly, I dug into my meal. I thought only of refueling and then locking myself in my room for the remainder of the night. Like the day before, and the day before that, I would stay up into the wee hours of the morning before finally retiring for at least three hours of sleep. That wasn’t nearly enough rest, yet with me having to waste time with school and homework, I didn’t have much time to devote to the Death Note each evening. Every precious moment counted.

I was about to tear into some tomato soup when I froze. My reflection was blankly staring back at me. I snarled. Why? Why did I have to look like _that man_? We had the same blue eyes, the same brown hair, and even the same jawline. I was practically the spitting image of my father, and it disgusted me to no end. Suddenly, I felt my appetite vanish into smoke.

And what about my dear, sweet mother? She seemed to tremble as she ate her meal, eyeing me every now and then to see if I would do or say something. She would be waiting an eternity. She didn’t deserve to hear me speak. She didn’t deserve to even be in my presence. The urge to snuff out her existence and have her join my good-for-nothing, wretched father in death came surging back.

This woman had allowed that man to abuse me.

This woman had allowed that man to _rape_ me. Over. And over. _And over_.

I was only a little girl. I remember everything as if it happened just yesterday. Every time I closed my eyes, I recall his lustful visage, his heavy breathing, his too-strong-to-drive-away frame. He’s no longer in this world, yes, yet he haunts me still.

Every waking moment.

And all the pitiful woman before me could ever do was apologize. I didn’t care if she was sorry. Mere words were meaningless. She was the one who intentionally left my bedroom door open every night. She was the one who would do nothing but sob in the other room while _that man_ came in to do his business. And she was the one that crawled into bed with him after everything was said and done. She acted like nothing at all at happened. Every. Single. Time.

I was nothing more than a toy to that bastard.

“H-How is it, Liz?” asked my mother, her voice as weak and feeble as her. Perhaps she could sense my rage, my burning hatred for her. She was trying her best to ignore it and act like my loving parent. It was too late. It would always be too late. Cooking for me, making sure I got up for school each day, having fresh clothes washed for me…none of that would wipe away the sins of the past.

I didn’t give her the dignity of a response. I ate faster, not caring how much I gagged as I forced sustenance down my throat.

“How is school going? You’re being careful, right? They say Kira is back again,” the woman across from me continued. I indulged her by glancing up from my plate. “It’s hard to believe, isn’t it? And things were becoming so peaceful again, so… _normal_.”

I wretched on the chicken that hadn’t made it down my throat. Normal? _Normal_? Just what was ‘normal’ about allowing child abusers and sex-crazed maniacs to walk the streets as they pleased? What was ‘normal’ about her being married one of them at once time? What was ‘normal’ about her still grieving over my father after everything he did, after everything she _didn’t_ do?

Her only daughter certainly couldn’t be considered ‘normal.’

“The police aren’t saying much other than to be careful, but it’s so scary, isn’t it? You never know who could be Kira. You never know what certain people are capable of.”

I do, Mother. I’m afraid I do. I stabbed my fork into my mashed potatoes repeatedly, striving to drown her out with the clatter of silverware. It wasn’t working.

“Liz, sweetie…”

 _Don’t_ call me that. Don’t you _dare_ call me that.

“…you’ve been… _different_ as of late. Is there…anything you want to talk to me about, anything at all? I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you.”

I was clenching my teeth so hard, I could taste blood. _Just shut up already!_

“Please, Elizabeth,” said my mother so quietly that I barely heard her. She was crying. She was actually _crying_. “Please, just _talk to me_. I can help you, sweetie. I-I know…things haven’t been well between us for a long time, but…I love you. I’ll always…”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I was seeing red. If I didn’t do something, I was going to jump across the table, wrap my hands around my mother’s neck, and do something that would no doubt land me behind bars. I would be useless to the world then, useless to Kira.

So, I calmed myself, taking sharp, deep breaths. This woman wouldn’t break me like my father had. I was stronger now, the strongest in the world. I could break _her_ if I yearned to, treat her like a toy. It was all so tempting, so very tempting.

_No. She isn’t worth it. …She’s not worth it, Elizabeth._

My mother was fearful for a fleeting moment and merely studied the anguished lines on my visage for what seemed like an eternity. I finally broke the tense silence by standing and marching back upstairs. I could hear her weeping even harder as I did so.

I smiled. I smiled long and hard, a voice in the back of my mind telling me how cruel it was. I didn’t care.

That was the most joy that miserable sack of flesh had brought me in years.

I heard a different sort of noise as I reentered my room and locked the door behind me. It was mocking laughter. My blue eyes darted over to the corner of the room. The thing there should have scared me half to death. It admittedly had the first time I met it. I knew all about Gods of Death—or ‘Reapers’ as the Internet called them—now. Most people did, though many more refuted their existence. Rumors spread like wildfire on the web.

Shinigami were real alright, as real as you and I. They were the ones that dropped Death Notes into the human world, the ones who knew all the rules to the books, and the ones who killed humans like us to replenish their own lifespan. They were indeed masters presiding over life and death.

But they were no gods. Kira was the only one who had ever earned the right to carry such a prestigious title. He was the sole one I would ever worship. Why, you ask? Why am I going so far for someone I’ve never actually met, someone whose identity I remain clueless of to this day? Why am I doing this for a person that is no longer around?

He was the one who killed my father. I thought of hundreds—and literally hundreds—of ways to kill that man while he was in prison. And no, he wasn’t locked up for what he did to me. He got a lengthy, twenty year sentence on account of raping _someone else_. It was a local neighborhood girl much older than me if I remember correctly. She was nice and quite pretty; she would often help me with my school work whenever I asked. She killed herself a little after the whole incident due to the town ostracizing her. Those imbeciles considered her as guilty as my father. They called her all sorts of horrible names that I have no urge to repeat here.

 _She was the victim_. Didn’t anyone get that? Were humans _that_ stupid?

The poor girl. I couldn’t do anything to help her. My father might have been imprisoned, but he was still alive and well, and I think that bothered her as much as it did me. What if he got out? What if he did it again? Would anyone be able to stop him? They hadn’t before. Yes, I think our lines of thinking were very similar at the time.

I felt powerless. I _was_ powerless. I was just a helpless, little girl.

But Kira was different. He was _special_. He could punish people no matter where they were and how much they tried to hide so long as he had their name and face. I thought it too good to be true. I never believed much in God, the god most people worship anyway. If there _was_ one, why would he let what my father did happen? So, I was equally as skeptical of Kira’s existence.

There was a website back in the day where you could submit names, pictures and even information on criminals to Kira. It was too good to be true, I thought at the time. Even though I didn’t know if Kira was real, I was desperate. I had to try it. I remember uploading anything and everything concerning my disgusting father. I waited.

And then one day, he was dead. Just like that. A massive heart attack they said. I heard he suffered greatly.

That was most likely the happiest news I’ve ever received.

“Ryuk,” I said, wincing at the black… _thing_ leering at me in a way that made feel like a mouse trapped in a laboratory maze. He liked… _studying_ me for whatever reason, studying humans in general. He was huge, far larger than any human. Maybe around eight feet tall. His skin was chalky white, his eyes as yellow and foreboding as some infectious disease. The rest of his massive, gangly body was covered in black. I didn’t know if it was fur or skin, and I wasn’t morbidly curious enough to ask. His teeth were sharp, razor sharp, hidden behind blue-painted lips that curled into sick, Glasgow smile. A pair of raggedy wings hung off his back. He could really fly; I had seen him do so more than enough times by now. It wasn’t graceful or anything though…

This monster, this God of Death, made me sick to my stomach. I was someone who no longer flinched when killing a person, but to this day, Ryuk made me physically ill by just… _existing_.

But he was also the sole reason I hadn’t hung myself yet like that girl down the street. He was the Shinigami that delivered me the most wonderful gift of all: the Death Note. It was responsible for giving my life meaning.

He was also the Shinigami that worked hand-in-hand with Kira. My lord and savior might have been gone, but someone who bore witness to his greatness remained. I basically interrogated Ryuk for hours after I met him, gleaning every bit of information about Kira I could get out of him. The Shinigami was more than happy to oblige—provided I supply him with a substantial supply of apples for his trouble. A small price to pay in order to hear firsthand accounts of the greatest individual that had ever lived. I was enthralled.

He had been _real_. He had been watching over us all. And he didn’t leave the world he was shaping by choice as many, myself included, feared.

He had been stolen from us.

“Why did you chose me?” I asked Ryuk back when I first stumbled upon the Death Note in my backyard. It’s laughable how much my fate changed simply because I needed some fresh air that day from a seemingly endless supply of homework. “Did Kira send you? Did…Kira choose _me_?”

Ryuk’s laughter at that time was just like it was now. “Why does every human that picks up a Note think they’re so special? I didn’t _choose_ anyone. I had a spare notebook, so I dropped it in your world. It just so happened to land by your house, and you just so happened to be the first person to pick it up.”

“I just wanted to see if something interesting would happen again,” he gleefully added.

But I didn’t believe that. It couldn’t have been so simple or just a coincidence. Kira might have been gone, but he was still looking out for those that never stopped believing in him. He chose me out of thousands to do what he no longer could.

I would not fail him. I owed him more than I could ever repay.

“What’s so funny?” I asked Ryuk. He had been cackling ever since I returned well over five minutes ago, and frankly, it was beginning to drive me mad. Any fear I felt for the Shinigami was gone by this point. Ryuk was more bothersome than he was frightening…or helpful. He refused to divulge any more information concerning the Death Note other than the rules already supplied in the front of it. He also refused to help me in any way when it came to achieving my goal.

“I didn’t help Kira either,” he informed me. “I just made sure he stayed alive long enough to enjoy the ride.”

So I was on my own then. Fine. Ryuk had given me more than enough despite my hunger to become the very individual I idolized.

He had given me _hope_. I would share it with the rest of the world.

“You really hate your parents, don’t you?” he said, already knowing the answer to his infuriating remark. He had been with me for three or four months, so that wasn’t his first time overhearing one of my ‘lovely chats’ with my mother. “Even Kira had a bit of a soft spot for his family. Guess every human family is different.”

Like my mother, I tried my very best to ignore Ryuk’s very existence as I returned to my desk and flipped open the Death Note. Unlike my mother, however, that was a tall task. Even when you had your back turned away from him, you could feel Ryuk quietly taking in your every move. I felt like I was under a microscope.

“You’ve been a busy little lady, haven’t you?” he said, hovering over me and greedily reading the many names scrawled in the notebook. “Not bad. Not bad at all. You’re giving Kira a run for his money here.”

This monster had no idea how much it pleased me to hear that.

It was only around eight in the evening. I still had the rest of the night and the early morning to dispose of more criminals. I prowled various websites on the Internet for a fresh supply. It was stupid easy nowadays to get this sort of information without exposing yourself to danger. No matter what idiots like my mother, the police or even the ignorant masses that opposed me across the globe thought, people _wanted_ Kira. They _needed_ him. They were more than willing to give me, the latest Kira, any help I required. I didn’t even have to ask.

These would be the people to inherit the Earth after I rid it of all the vermin. And I would rule over them, keeping them safe. I would act as Kira’s proxy, of course. I wasn’t in this for the glory.

Eluding the authorities these past few months had been a lot harder meanwhile. Kira had the advantage, in the beginning at least, of anyone attempting to catch him being totally clueless on how he killed. The existence of ‘notebooks of death’ is common knowledge now. Judging from news reports—I’ve been keeping up with them whenever I get some spare time—I’m pretty certain every anti-criminal agency on the planet is on the hunt for me. In fact, it’s probable they were lying in wait for another Kira to reveal themselves.

They’ll never find me though. For one, I’m in America—for my safety, I won’t tell you all exactly _where_ in the US. Every other Kira has hailed from Japan, so the authorities will no doubt scour the Land of the Rising Sun first. I’ve also spread the deaths between every nation—thanks again to Kira’s legion of helpful and informative followers for assisting me in doing so—to make guessing where I’m from next to impossible.

So far so good. The local police haven’t bothered me or anyone else from my hometown about the Kira case. No one here—besides my mother as you’ve seen—even mutters about it, so I’m pretty confident no one here is being suspected.

There’s only one person I’m _really_ worried about, even though he’s just as clueless as the others. He’s the same detective that somehow managed to catch Kira five years ago—according to Ryuk anyway. His stories weren’t all that reliable at times, and I always got the feeling he wasn’t being completely forthcoming concerning how someone as brilliant as Kira met his demise.

He claimed to have nothing to do with it. I felt he hadn’t done enough.

“Who is L?” I asked Ryuk absentmindedly, writing down more names. It really does get easier the longer you do it, but then again, why should I feel anything for lowlife trash in the first place? “You’ve seen his face, right? Tell me his name so I can kill him already.”

“I ain’t telling you.”

“Not this again. Come on. Can’t you just give me a little hint?”

“Not a chance. Giving you the Death Note is one thing; I ain’t your servant.”

I frowned. Ryuk could be quite stubborn when he wanted to be. That seemed to be all the time. I wondered if the original Kira had this much trouble dealing with him. L was probably worse though.

Speaking of which, you can likely already tell, but I’m not the biggest fan of L’s. He’s smart, _very_ smart, admittedly smarter than me. I don’t know how, but he’s already onto the fact that, and I quote, “There is another Kira more than likely operating out of North America.” L had the nerve to broadcast on TV that he plans on hunting me down and catching me, just like all the other ‘Kira copies.’ Good luck.

Yes, Kira copies. I’m not the first one that’s tried doing this since the original Kira died. I’m merely the only one that didn’t get caught after the first couple of days. Lots of Shinigami were getting the idea of chucking their Death Notes into the human world to ‘see what would happen,’ just like Ryuk. Allegedly, the Shinigami King—I don’t know or _want to know_ what the hell that is—ordered everyone to cut it out. Fortunately for me, Ryuk was the only who hadn’t listened, hence why I should be the only person in the world with a Death Note.

I’m not that silly C-Kira or the rest of those idiots. What I’m doing is _real_. I’m going to change the world. I’ll take out anyone who stands in Kira’s way, L included. Maybe I can even get revenge for him if I play my cards right. I won’t fall for any of his pathetic tricks.

I remember the whole thing with Lind L. Taylor and Kira back in the day. That was one of the few times my savior messed up, and L had tried similar tricks with me to goad me into killing someone that would reveal myself. I simply ignored him. He wouldn’t catch me. He would _never_ catch me.

But I had to be careful. One slip up, and I’m as good as dead. They won’t have mercy on me just because I’m a seventeen year old high school student. Kira wasn’t that much older from what Ryuk told me.

 _Scratch. Scratch. Scratch._ The names of all the criminals were starting to bleed together as I kept on writing. I could no longer feel my right hand. Only my willpower was keeping it and my pen moving. The same could be said for my bloodshot eyes. The days of getting little to no sleep were finally catching up to me. I nodded off several times and had to jab myself in the thigh with my pen to stay awake.

I couldn’t be so weak.

“The old Kira could stay up for days on end,” said Ryuk with another raspy laugh, trampling on my pride some more. He busied eating yet another apple. He at least hid the evidence from my mother; he ate every bit of the fruit, the core included. “But you’re just a human girl. Maybe you should get some rest. Nothing interesting is gonna happen if you die from exhaustion.”

Was I actually going to die? Ryuk would know. His eyes would anyway. A Shinigami could see anyone’s name and remaining lifespan simply by looking at them. It was a valuable trait, a little _too_ tempting honestly. If I had those eyes, I could kill L and anyone else intent on stopping me just by loading up a photo of them on my laptop. Not that many knew what L in particular looked like or even had a picture of him. Even so, that power would be great.

But not at the expense of half one’s lifespan like Ryuk had told me. I didn’t mind dying an early death for Kira, but I would be no good to him six feet in the ground either. I had to stay alive as long as possible for the sake of world peace and all the helpless people out there.

Only I could save them.

“Being a girl has nothing to do with anything,” I heatedly told Ryuk. I didn’t know beings from another realm could make such sexist comments. Getting rid of him like I eventually would L wasn’t possible; I had already tried writing his name in the Death Note to no avail. “Didn’t you say the Second Kira was a girl? Anyway, the world isn’t going to care who its savior is, whether they’re male or female. With my power, they’ll flock around me regardless.”

“Oho. You’re starting to sound an awful lot like the old Kira too, Liz.”

My irritation with Ryuk did another one-eighty. He could be charming too at times. As charming as hideous Shinigami could be anyway.

As I put down the name of some Iranian drug lord, I let my guard down enough to allow my eyelids drift shut. I would only rest for a couple of seconds. No more, no less.

I foolishly thought there wouldn’t be any harm in it.

#

Morning had come at some point. I was rudely awoken by the close-by and grating clamor of sirens and yelling. Instantly, my body jerked to life, and I lifted my head from the Death Note I had embarrassingly been using as a pillow. Checking it, I was relieved to find no harm done to it other than a corner of a page being soaked in drool.

“You might wanna hide that,” I heard Ryuk say. He was busy gaping out the window. I knew that look. I knew that look all too well. Ryuk being so curious was never a good thing.

Now I was fully awake. I got up and joined Ryuk, finally noticing all the noise was coming from right outside _my_ house and not a neighbor’s like I first assumed. I held my breath.

 _It couldn’t be_ , I thought. There was just no way. _Have they figured out I’m…Kira?_

It really did seem impossible. I wasn’t taking any chances though. Nearly tripping over myself in my haste, I grabbed the Death Note, darting my head around my room for some sort of hiding spot for it. I had to admit my overconfidence these past few months might end up costing me everything. I hadn’t once considered anyone finding me, let alone thought of crafting some sort of place to put the Note during times like these, somewhere only I would be able to get to.

There was a loud banging at the front door. A gruff voice then hollered, “Police! Open up! We’re here following a tip.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” said Ryuk, cackling even now.

I glared at him. “Don’t just stand there! Do something!”

I was wasting my breath. Ryuk chortled even harder as if making fun of me for asking him something so asinine. The cops about to bust the world’s most dangerous serial killer clearly qualified as the ‘something interesting’ he had been craving for. He was likely curious to see how I would get out of this jam.

Too bad I craved to know the exact same thing.

“Was it L?” I pondered out loud, settling on bundling the Death Note with a sweater, putting it beneath a loose floor board underneath my bed and obscuring it with some clothing. I then set the floorboard in the way that made it appear as if it wasn’t broken at all. Before all that though, I ripped out all the pages with the names of criminals—a task that took longer than I hoped—and burned them in the trash with a match. I was already thinking on how I could just do the same to my house and destroy the Note with it if things _really_ got hairy. “No, how could it be? He wouldn’t even know my name, let alone where I live and the fact I’m Kira. Ryuk…”

“You weren’t being followed. I would’ve known. It’s damn annoying.”

That wasn’t what I was fretting over, but it was good to know nonetheless. I hadn’t used or talked about the Death Note outside my house, so even if the police or someone working for L _were_ tailing me, they wouldn’t find out anything of relevance.

“I don’t think there are any cameras or wire taps around either,” added Ryuk.

“Then how…?”

“Police! Open the door _now_ or we’re breaking it down!” said the same voice downstairs. The rapping on the door got even more deafening, and I shuddered, finding my mind become a blank canvas. Was this going to be it?

“N-No. Calm down,” I instructed myself, breathing deeply. I could have sworn the room was spinning. Fainting was the last thing I needed to do. “Without the Death Note, they can’t prove anything. They just can’t find it. _I can’t let them find it_.”

“The real Kira wouldn’t be panicking already,” said Ryuk. That last thing I longed for was his obnoxious commentary right now.

“Then what should I do? Even if I kill whoever is at the door, that’s basically just me admitting I’m Kira. I’m on the second floor, so I can’t just jump to safety without breaking my leg or anyone seeing me.”

“Why not forfeit ownership of the Death Note? Then, even if those guys know you’re Kira, you won’t remember, and the Note won’t be around for them to take as proof since I’ll just head back to the Shinigami Realm with it.”

I was shocked. That was actually a decent idea. I deliberated Ryuk’s plan as I heard more angry muttering outside. Maybe I was only imagining it in my apprehensive state, but it sounded like there were dozens of people surrounding my home. I and almost screamed at the top of my lungs when I carefully checked out of my window to confirm just that. There was a sea of red and blue lights flashing from what looked like a whole precinct of police cars. There were even some from the next town over’s police force.

Whatever was going on was serious, perhaps _deadly_ serious.

“You’d better hurry,” advised Ryuk, still obviously humored by the turn of events. He had the luxury of being invisible to those who hadn’t physically touched the Death Note, so it wasn’t shocking he was keeping his cool.

But what about me? I could feel a panic attack coming on. I was Kira. How was I feeling so utterly powerless when I could kill in the blink of an eye?

_Maybe I can find a way to kill everyone outside after all. They have to know I’m Kira if they’re sending this many people after me, so giving myself away is no longer an issue._

That required the eyeball thing with Ryuk, and I still had my reservations about it. Besides, could I even write down so many names before I was arrested? I didn’t have much confidence.

_Do I just give up the Death Note like Ryuk suggested?_

That was even less appealing. How would I fulfill the original Kira’s vision for a world with no crime or suffering if I no longer had the greatest weapon in history? I would rather go down fighting.

 _So, I have to figure out a way to run then_.

And thus, I reached the most improbable option of all. I already mentioned the whole jumping-from-the-second-floor-and-breaking-a-limb thing, so that was out of the question. My house had two exits, both downstairs: the front door and then one on the opposite end that led to the backyard. The front led right into the streets where everyone would have a clear view of me and thus Kira. Yeah, I had no interest in being the main topic of the evening news.

The back door, meanwhile, would take me into the alleyways, where I might have a legitimate shot at making a clean getaway if I could avoid detection.

 _I think I could even get down into the sewers from there_.

I shrieked at a thundering crash that came from the living room. The front door had more than likely been broken down as promised. Heavy footsteps plodding their way up to where I was stirred me into action despite me shaking like a leaf. It was far from the best place to stay out of sight, but I had no more time left, so I shot behind my bedroom door. It came flying open, ramming me hard enough in the nose to make me tear up. I bit my tongue to stay quiet.

“Where is she?” I heard someone say in a panic. I could tell it was the very same person that had demanded me to come out earlier. There were four…no, five shadows around him. A whole squad had come for little, old me. “Miss, where is your daughter? You told us she was here! If you’re trying to hide her…!”

“S-She should be here! She was just here this morning! I checked! But please, leave her be! She has nothing to do with this!”

I put my hand over my mouth to muffle a gasp. Why was I so surprised? _Of course_ my mother was behind all this. When hadn’t she gone out of her way to cause me suffering?

_Dammit! I thought someone had been in my bedroom this morning before I woke up. There were a few things out of place. I even left the Death Note wide open while I was sleeping. Did she…see what I was doing then?_

“She didn’t go out of the window, sir,” I heard another cop say.

“No one went out the back either,” said another. “Should we check again?”

“No,” said the cop from earlier. I guess he was the leader. “We can’t take any chances. She has to still be in the house somewhere. She might be able to kill us just by seeing our faces, so make sure your face shields are on securely.”

So it was true. They really _did_ know I was Kira. I could no longer keep control of my breathing. I was hyperventilating. It was either by some divine miracle or total incompetence these clowns hadn’t thought to check behind my door. I eyed them through the crack in it, seeing them scouring through my closet. There was nothing but clothes in there. So long as they steered clear of my bed, they would never find the Death Note.

“W-What are you saying?” my mother breathlessly stated. Imbecile. What do you _think_ these people are going on about? Try to take a guess. “Y-You’re not saying my Liz is…?”

“Everything you’ve said about her behavior is more than enough to warrant us making sure, ma’am. There’s also the issue with the notebook you mentioned,” stated the leader of this rag, tag group of the law’s finest. So she _did_ see the Death Note. I am an idiot, a total idiot.

The cop might have been trying to persuade my mother not to jump to conclusions, but the coldness in his tone informed me he was one hundred percent certain he had the right person.

“N-No!” my mother shouted. There she went crying again. “I…I was just worried about her! I just wanted someone to come check up on her, talk some sense into her! I never meant for…!”

She couldn’t finish her statement, while I couldn’t bear to stare at her anguished face any longer. She was telling the truth. While she hadn’t done me any good over the years, I knew deep down she really hadn’t asked for her only child to be treated as a murder suspect. I might have felt a tangent of remorse for her, but it was my own well being I needed to worry about for the foreseeable future.

“Ryuk,” I quietly said. “I’ll do the deal. Give me the eyes.”

It was stupid. I regretted the decision the instant I let it be known. Those disturbing lips of Ryuk’s curled into an equally mortifying smile. It made me feel ten times over that I was making a terrible mistake.

It was the only chance I had though.

“You sure about this?” asked Ryuk. He was already holding a bony hand over my eyes despite his inquisition. “That’s half of your lifespan we’re talking here. Didn’t you wanna live as long as possible for Kira?”

“I’m surprised. I thought you would be more than happy to make the deal.”

He obviously was, but I was somewhat thankful to him for attempting to talk some sense into me. All hope wasn’t lost, however.

So long as I lived, I could devote every waking second to Kira’s cause. Even if I only had half as much time to do it, that should have be more than enough.

“One pair of Shinigami eyes coming right up,” said Ryuk cheerily.

It happened at once. I didn’t feel any different; I was afraid having my lifespan reduced would actually hurt, but nothing. Instead, I peeked out the space between my door again, floored at what my not-so-normal eyes were seeing.

There were numbers. Names too. The world around me was in a sepia tone, like someone had put an inverted filter over my vision. It was so bizarre.

I got over the shock quickly enough to determine the strange numbers were the current lifespans of everyone in the room. The names were self explanatory. It was incredible. It was this easy for Shinigami to pick out their prey and kill them? A small part of me felt like an idiot for not making the eyeball trade sooner. I usually spent long, sleepless hours even finding a single, real name of some notorious criminal—people were naturally careful to keep their identity hidden with Kira lurking about again—but now, I would be able to do it just by gazing at their unsuspecting faces. I had the power of a god. I _was_ a god now, a real one, maybe even more of one than Kira. I had to stop myself from laughing uncontrollably.

And fortunately for me, the cops hadn’t put on their face masks or whatever yet, far too preoccupied searching for yours truly and/or the Death Note.

“Now what?” asked Ryuk. “You’ve got the eyes, but no Death Note. You can’t kill with looks alone, can you?”

Of course not. My job would have been a hell of a lot easier if I could.

I ignored him and reached into my back pocket, pulling out a folded piece of notebook paper. I was glad I had figured this out just the other day. Even if you tear a page of the Death Note out, its effects still work. You don’t even have to use real ink, which was good since I didn’t have a pen on hand. There _was_ a safety pin fastened to my jeans, however.

“Did anyone check behind the door?”

One of the policemen at last realized the group’s error. His hand lurched toward where I was. I whimpered, both at him moments away from discovering me and at pricking my index finger with the safety pin. Warm blood trickled out of the wound. I coated the pin in it and trained my vision on my next victim. Though my hand shook violently, I managed to write down his name in crimson ink: Reginald Weatherspoon. I might not have made it such a close call if it were anything shorter, but…I did it

_I did it._

I specified an instant heart attack. No way I was waiting forty seconds.

“AAAGGGGH!”

It was awful. This…was the first time I had ever seen someone I wrote in the Death Note die right in front of me. Reginald clutched at his chest, foamed at the mouth, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and finally…he hit the ground in a broken mess. He stared lifelessly up at the ceiling. All this had taken less than a few seconds, but as I stood there in a horrified stupor, it felt like it had been decades.

“She’s here!” someone else declared. “Face masks on, people! Put them…!”

But I was already gone. Reginald’s untimely demise, while putting me on the verge of puking, also distracted the cops long enough for me to dart past them and downstairs.

“Liz? Liz, come back! Wait, sweetie! WAIT!”

I didn’t bother to glance back at my mother. I didn’t have time. I wasn’t planning on ever seeing her again, so the last thing I needed was to be dragged down by some ill-timed sentimentality.

This was all her fault, after all.

There weren’t any police at the back door. I remembered one from earlier—I think it was Reginald actually—mentioning they hadn’t bothered stationing anyone there yet thinking I would never make it this far. I thanked them for their stupidity from the bottom of my heart.

Maybe Kira _was_ watching over me.

A different god, Ryuk, sure was. He flew after me as I burst through the door and raced outside, feeling my heart beat a million miles per hour. There wasn’t anyone outside either. No cops, no neighbors, nobody. I was going to do it. I was actually going to get away.

“I really didn’t think that would work,” Ryuk said casually.

Neither did I. But it had. Now, onto the next stage of my escape.

I might have been Kira, and I might have just killed a man back there, but I was still a girl. Maybe it’s cliché to say so, but as a girl, I had reservations about climbing down a manhole and into a filthy, revolting, rodent-infested sewer. I was already nauseous as it was. Ryuk gave me his smoker’s cough laugh as I seriously debated on descending the ladder or taking my chances with my new Shinigami eyes against my pursuers.

“Humans are really funny,” he remarked, sounding like a dying cat as he kept on taunting me. I was far too worked up, however, to get upset. In a strange sort of way, I was glad he was still there. I wasn’t totally alone. So long as I had Ryuk, maybe I wouldn’t lose my grip on sanity.

That was how low I had sunk in the span of a single morning. Being comforted by a monster from another world was something good to me now.

Eventually—and basically because I heard a volley of shouting voices coming toward me, leaving me with no choice—I went down into the sewers. Let me tell you, the place really stunk. That sounds obvious, but I’m honestly not doing the place enough justice. My town was rather big, meaning there must have been hundreds upon hundreds of toilets, and everything flushed down them led to here. I pinched my nose and strove to drive that thought away. It didn’t help much. I could practically _taste_ how nasty it was down there.

I had to move though. If I was caught…no, I couldn’t even consider that option. My feet, feeling like they were glued to the ground, got me going. The longer I went on, the less I felt like the god of the new world and more like a seventeen year old that had gotten way in over her head. I rubbed my clammy hands together in a vain effort to warm them up. This was the absolute worst.

The sewer was as cold as it smelled bad. I huddled my arms around myself. I wished I had brought a coat. I wished I had thought this whole thing through more carefully and made it easier for myself to get away in the event the heat on me got too intense. I was a fool, the biggest fool in the world.

Kira would have never been this sloppy. Kira would have had all the answers. Kira would never lose.

But he did. And…I was about to as well. Did this happen to him too? Did he get overconfident and end up trapped like a rat? How could that be though? He was God. _I_ should be God right now. I have the eyes. I have the Death Note. I have the willpower and vision to change this world for the better! Why then? Why is this happening to me? Why am I being pressured like some…like some kind of…like some sort of filthy…

I was _not_ like my father no matter how much we looked the same. He was pure evil. He was a criminal. I am _not_ a criminal.

…Right? _Right_? …I didn’t know anymore. I couldn’t figure out anything anymore. I continued dragging myself along, bumping my shoulder into the wall beside me because I no longer had a grasp of my surroundings. It might have felt like it, and it really, _really_ did, but it wasn’t over. I still had some scraps of the Death Note in my pocket, but I wondered if I even had the nerve to use them anymore. I would never forget the dead face of Reginald Weatherspoon, just like I would never forget what my father did to me. I was shaken to the core.

I’m a coward. I can hurt and destroy as many people until I get my fill so long as they aren’t standing right before me.

“You’ve got some plan to get out of this, right, Liz? It can’t be over already.”

I nearly forgot Ryuk was hovering beside me. At least someone there was pleased, twitching with anticipation even. He was still waiting for me to pull a rabbit out of a hat, a very _big_ rabbit. Did I have any magic left up my sleeve? I held myself even tighter.

_They’ll more than likely find the Death Note under my bed. That’ll prove I’m Kira, assuming killing that cop wasn’t enough. I can’t go back. I’ve only got enough pages with me left to kill maybe four or five more people at the most. That isn’t enough._

It wasn’t even close to enough. How long would I have to keep running? Suddenly, all the names of the people I cast judgment on flashed through my scattered thoughts. At least they hadn’t know what was coming before they bit the dust. They didn’t have to suffer being hunted down like some animal.

No, that wasn’t right. They were just like me right now, weren’t they? _Just like me._ They were well aware Kira was going to execute them for their sins. They just didn’t know when or even how. That must have made things a hundred times worse. Not knowing when you were going to die is a positively terrifying thing.

Was…I in the right with what I had been doing? I didn’t even know that anymore. Who was actually the scum?

My thoughts shifted to Ryuk and the eyeball deal. Why had I done it? What good had it done me? What good would it do me in the future without the Death Note? No, even if I found another notebook of death, I don’t think I could…

I stopped in my tracks. Ryuk would have slammed into me if it weren’t for him being a Shinigami. Instead, he phased right through me, turning around and raising an eyebrow at the way I was fidgeting around. My face hurt on account of how hard I was wrinkling it in deep contemplation.

“Finally come up with something, Liz?” my Shinigami asked.

At once, I replied, “I don’t want ownership of the Death Note anymore.”

What was I thinking? Why had I said that? I drew back at my own speech. Saying such a thing was basically betraying Kira. Kira had placed his faith in me, chosen _me_ over millions of others, and yet…here I was wavering just because my life was on the line in this game. Had I always been this weak?

Or was I perhaps coming to terms with the fact I was no god? Maybe no human could be. Not even the original Kira. The Death Note, the eyes, all the killing…they only went so far. None of them were doing me any good at the moment even though they were tasked with helping me change the world. Neither were Kira’s thousands of loyal followers. If they could only see their savior now…

“No?” Ryuk was just as confused by my sudden change of heart. “…You should’ve done that from the start then. You wouldn’t have had to cut half your lifespan.”

“I know that, you son of a…!”

Footsteps. I whirled the other way and cupped my hands over my ear. I heard footsteps that weren’t mine and obviously weren’t Ryuk’s. We weren’t alone in the sewers.

“Maybe it’s just a homeless guy,” suggested Ryuk.

“Maybe,” I echoed. I wasn’t too sure though. I didn’t think even someone with nowhere left to go would be able to stand the stench down here for long.

Things grew quiet. I couldn’t even hear water dripping anymore. I put a cautious hand on the sheets of Death Note parchment with me. Would I have to kill again after all?

It…wasn’t a cop. It was a guy. A guy who looked like he hadn’t slept in months and had just escaped some mental institution. I mean, why else would someone go around wearing baggy, white pajamas? He twirled a finger through his white, disheveled hair as he eyed me. His stare was piercing; I actually recoiled.

“Caught you,” he said quite happily, going so far as to smile. His might have been even more disturbing than Ryuk’s, and he was human like me.

I opened my mouth to speak yet couldn’t. I was afraid, but…why? Add that to the list of unexplainable things today, along with my growing urge to get away from this guy as soon as possible.

Ryuk laughed again. He sounded like a broken record, but this time, there was something truly haunting about it. My eyes widened.

_He knows who this guy is…_

But what did that mean for me? I wasn’t sticking around to find out. I turned around to go, only to slam into someone who towered over me, knocking me over. The blond-haired man glared down at me, paralyzing me.

“Is this her?” he asked.

“It should be, Rester,” said a female voice, meaning there was a _third_ person there. She stepped out of the shadows, revealing the face of a beautiful Caucasian woman. She scowled at me like Rester, a sort of glare that told me she saw me as less than human. “So, Kira’s a little girl this time?”

I gulped, not finding the courage to defend myself.

“Near.” The woman shifted to the creepy, pajama-wearing guy from before. “Are you sure your information is correct?”

“It is, Lidner,” said _yet another individual_. Just where in the hell were these freaks coming from? This one was the youngest looking one of them all besides this Near. “The police couldn’t find the notebook, but I did after they left. She hid it under the floorboards. She did a very good job; I had to practically tear her room apart before I realized it was there.”

 _Dammit_ , I thought, snarling. If the police hadn’t found it, I thought it would be safe until I went back for it, but this black-haired guy had found it in no time flat. What the hell was going on? Who _were_ all these people? How did they know I was down here? In the midst of all my vexation, Ryuk appeared incapable of stopping his giggling fit.

“Good work, Gevanni,” said the one known as Near, twisting his hair even harder. He seemed bored, preoccupied with something else. What could be more important than catching Kira? “Even without finding the notebook, I had a hunch we stumbled upon the right person.

“It was easy to narrow down the list of suspects after determining what time the killings were taking place. They usually started around three in the afternoon and then lasted until two in the morning. That told us that our Kira was most likely a student.”

I felt the color drain from my skin. I hadn’t even thought of varying the time of the murders to mask the fact I had to go to school every day.

“Once we determined that,” said Near, still looking and sounding utterly uninterested, “we had to ascertain where our murderer was. I suppose you tried to hide that by killing an equal amount of criminals from each nation. It wasn’t a bad idea, but there was one, major flaw.”

I instinctively shook my head. There couldn’t be anything wrong with my idea. By spreading out the killings worldwide, focusing on no particular nation, finding me, finding Kira, should have been like tracking down a needle in a haystack.

…Right?

“We took stock in everyone you killed and noticed American criminals were the lowest out of them all,” said Near. “I’m guessing your logic was something like ‘If I don’t kill any Americans, that’ll make me look suspicious, but if I kill too many, it’ll be obvious that is where Kira is from since those types of criminals will be the easiest to get information on.’

“By comparison, Kira murdered the most in Asia, and so did you. Perhaps you were trying to make it seem as if you were instead in Japan. Again, not a terrible line of thinking; the majority of other Kira cases have been there, after all. You focused far too much on that fact, however.

“If we assume the culprit is indeed a student, then the timing of the killings would make more sense if they were in the US and _not_ Japan. With all that, anyone would sense something was amiss.”

I didn’t think so. No, only a freak like the one before me could jump to such conclusions and be absolutely correct.

“So, I decided to take a gamble and assume you were in the United States. However, I told you during my broadcast that I simply narrowed your location to North America. I let you realize I was close to finding you but made it seem you had some breathing room.”

I couldn’t believe it. After all the unforeseen stuff that had gone down today, this topped the list. If he was talking about the broadcast I thought he was, that meant this creepy guy could only be…

“You reacted accordingly; you started increasing your murders everywhere _but_ North America. Even in places like Canada and Mexico, where you had been executing criminals at the same rate as other countries, the number of deaths dropped significantly. You were insistent on trying to lead us somewhere else. All it told me though was that I was right on the money. You were in America. An American Kira.”

My mouth was as dry as a desert. His explanation on finding me made far too much sense. This Near…no, he was _L_. L had read me like a book. I felt like a marionette being strung around by my puppeteer. Hadn’t I done _anything_ of my own free will? Had everything just been apart of his plan to catch me? I had to kill him. I _yearned_ to kill him. I could see his and everyone else’s real names; even if I just took L down, I could call it a victory, revenge for the original Kira. Luckily for me, it was dark in the sewers. No one would notice if I reached in my pocket and…

“Oh, and this doesn’t have anything to do with how we found you, but I just want to let you know everyone here has been authorized to shoot and kill you if you try anything funny. You likely have some pages of the Death Note with you. You might even have Shinigami eyes and can kill us just by looking at us. I was well aware of that risk before I decided to reveal myself to you in person, but I also knew you were acting completely alone. We have the numbers advantage, so don’t anything you’d regret if you wish to keep you life.”

I became rigid. Rester, Lidner and Gevanni pointed a trio of handguns at me. L knew. L knew _everything_. This was an absolute nightmare. It was becoming painfully clear how even someone as wise as Kira had been defeated by this… _monster_.

There was still one thing I didn’t get, one thing that made no sense.

“H-How did you know where I was exactly? Even if you pinpointed me to America…”

“Ah. That,” mumbled Near, no longer even looking at me. He fiddled with a toy robot he pulled out of his pajamas, jerking its arms here and there. “That was a bit trickier. The time zone thing came in handy once more; we knew you were on the West Coast. That much we were sure of, but that still left us plenty of states to work our way through.

“We decided to focus on cities and towns that were mostly anti-Kira. That would be the perfect hiding spot for our culprit because they would want to be somewhere people would be too afraid to talk about the case in fear of being killed by Kira. If no one discusses it, no one investigates. The police here were quite reluctant to go after you even after I assured them we had found Kira at last.

“Of course, even after doing all this, finding you was still difficult. Thanks to your efforts, there aren’t many places people aren’t praising your actions. You must be rather proud of yourself, I suppose.”

I had been at once time, but now, I wasn’t sure of anything.

“We noticed every now and then, there would be a sudden increase in killings during random intervals of the day on equally haphazard days. I came to the conclusion our culprit would skip school from time to time to sneak in more judgments. So, we looked up the records of every school on the west coast to see if any absences matched up with the times of these peculiar deaths.”

Wait, he checked _every_ school on the west coast? That’s insane. No, that’s _beyond_ insane. To have done such a thing within the span of a few months…

Near wasn’t finished. I couldn’t believe it. “That got our search down to just one person. Once we found you, we just needed to see if you would skip school again and if an increase in murders would happen on the same day. Then, we waited for you school to inform us if you did. We got the call sooner than we anticipated.”

I could say nothing to this because I knew Near had me hook, line and sinker. I ditched school just last week actually. That must have been what he was talking about. My mother never knew; the only reason I still went to class to make myself appear as normal as possible. I feigned any absences on sickness. I thought the plan was foolproof. It _should_ have been full proof.

“I took one final step to make sure we had the right person. I went back and studied all the criminals you were killing. We’re sure you’re first murder happened some time back in May, so it was a simple matter of following every one after that. Of course, there were the usual sort: murder suspects, drug lords, mafia members. However, there were far more rapists, child killers and parents incarcerated for hurting their own children. That gave me a profile on who we were after: someone who had gone through some sort of traumatic childhood trauma on account of one or bother their parents.

“After conferring with the local police here, they released the records of one Elizabeth Wallace. Your father was locked up for the rape of two girls, you being one of them. He was executed by Kira years afterward. That was your motivation for using the Death Note.”

It was odd. Near sounded so sure of his own theories that even if I hadn’t know I was Kira, I would have been thoroughly convinced and likely turned myself in. I should have expected nothing less from the world’s greatest detective, yet…

“I don’t think we even needed your mother seeing the Note this morning or you killing that officer to amass enough evidence against you as Kira and get a conviction, but we’ll certainly take the help. We’ve got another note of death as well out of the deal too.”

His remark of gaining ‘another note of death’ didn’t even register with me. I felt ill again, the most sick I had ever been. It was only now I realized how out of my league I was. I was no match against against this man. I made mistakes, sure, but they weren’t anything any normal individual or group would be able to pick up on _this_ fast. I should have double checked my every move, ensured the killings couldn’t be traced back to me without concrete proof. How in the world had the original Kira been able to stand up to this man for so long?

“Get up.”

In a state of shock, I just let the man known as Rester drag me up. He and Lidner than fasted handcuffs around my wrist and put a blindfold over my eyes. That’s right; they knew I had the Eyes. I did nothing to resist. Nothing at all. Was there any point? My life as I knew it being all over slowly washed over me. What would they do with me? Would I be sent to prison for the rest of my life, or would they just kill me as soon as possible and get it over with? I couldn’t ask. I was barely keeping myself from shrieking like a lunatic.

The scrap of Death Note I brought along, hidden between my sweaty fingers, tempted me more than ever. I couldn’t see it, but I committed to memory the name that had been floating over Near’s head, his _real_ name. Could I write his name down before the others saw what I was doing and killed me? I was dead either way, wasn’t I?

“Why are you doing this?”

I didn’t recognize my own voice. It sounded so meek, so…broken. Warm tears rolled down my dirtied face, but I wasn’t going to give my captors the pleasure of hearing me weep.

“They have to die,” I said much louder, with a sort of ferocity I didn’t know was in me. Everything was coming to the surface, my anger for Near, my anger for my parents, my anger with the world at large for allowing injustices to occur everyday. Why was I being painted as the villain here? It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair. “People are toxic. They have to die. Just…let me kill them! LET ME KILL THEM!”

I was hysterical. Was this…really me? I would have been lying if I said I didn’t scare myself. I hadn’t become Kira and sold my soul to the Death Note simply to make the world better, had I? I knew it the whole time but couldn’t admit it until now. I hated people, hated that they could hurt me at anytime, hated that I had no control over them. So, I decided I would get rid of as many of them as I could.

I took a sadistic pleasure in it even. Did that make me evil? …I don’t know. I really don’t.

No one indulged my deranged behavior with a response. It seemed they had been waiting for me to snap like this. Clearly, this wasn’t their first time witnessing this. They weren’t interested in my excuses; they had come to hear apprehend who they felt was an unforgivable murderer, a person with as much worth as the worms crawling around in the dirt.

In a way, they brought me to my final decision.

“Ryuk…” I said so lowly that only the Shinigami would hear. “Do it.”

I might not have ever thought I would be caught, but I…had something in mind just in case I did. I couldn’t go to jail. I refused. That would make me no better than my father or the rest of the scum plaguing the world. Besides, what do you think a bunch of angry convicts would do to the person slaughtering them left and right?

It didn’t take much imagination.

“So, that’s it then?”

Ryuk was disappointed. So was I. He gave me a forlorn look as if hoping I would change my mind and suddenly find a way out of this hopeless scenario. I shook my head at him. There were no more tricks, no more work to be done by Kira.

I forced my lungs to take in air as I surveyed Ryuk opening his Death Note. His pen scratched down a single name, a name that would put an end to this whole ordeal.

 _Forty seconds_.

Did I have any regrets? I didn’t know the answer to that either. I never once felt what I was doing was wrong up until today. Kira had saved me in more ways than one, so I felt it proper to repay him for the rest of my life if I could. I had to blacken my soul for his cause, a cause I admittedly took rather personally. Had that been where I screwed up the most?

 _Thirty seconds_.

I had the blood of hundreds on my hands. Years down the line, people would call me a lunatic that had to be stopped. Were they right? Was that all I was?

 _Twenty seconds_.

Maybe it’s better this way. I might have had the ambition to be Kira, but I lacked the resolve. I had to be able to do whatever to get by, and after killing that cop today, I knew I was far too much of a coward to sacrifice the rest of my humanity.

_Ten seconds._

Why was I suddenly thinking of my mother? I knew how crushed she would be once she learned the truth about everything. She would forever be known as the mother of Kira, pained as giving birth to a monster, but why I should I care how that imbecile felt? She deserved any scorn thrown her way. I didn’t love her anymore.

Why was I crying even harder then at the thought of leaving her all alone?

I really am pathetic, aren’t I?

 _Five seconds_.

Rester and Lider dragged me along after Gevanni and Near. The police would no doubt be waiting for them back above ground. So would my mother.

Ryuk, meanwhile, grinned at me as he stepped right through the wall and disappeared.

“It was fun while it lasted, Liz. You had me going there for a second, but I guess you ain’t like Light after all.”

He was gone for a good, and I wasn’t going to scream or holler for him to come back. He couldn’t help me. No one could. It was a painful fact to swallow.

Not that I would be able to process anything in a few moments.

_Zero._

It didn’t even hurt. Ryuk must have specified it to be quick and painless. All I felt was something go out in my head, like flipping a light switch. Then, the world around me and everything in it swirled into blackness. I heard panicked voices around me fade away.

Then, there was nothing. Nothing at all. No fear, no pain, no good or evil. Everything I had done seemed so meaningless.

I faced the one thing that horrified me enough to make me end it all rather than spend the rest of my days rotting behind a cell.

In death, everyone is equal.

Even Kira.

 

**END**


End file.
